Handling Public Outings with Twins: Tips and Tricks for Twin Parents

When I initially brought our newborn twins home, it seemed like I would never venture outside again. The thought of taking my two little ones for a walk around the neighborhood was so overwhelming that it could induce a panic attack. I had to mentally prepare myself just to place them in their car seats for a Walmart pickup. However, over time and with more outings, I realized it gradually became easier, and I established a routine. People often stared, and they still do regularly—part of life as a twin parent—but I created structures that made public outings more manageable and less intimidating for our family.

After having the second set of twins, I wasn't as overwhelmed about leaving the house since I had already navigated the process with twins once. However, adding two more little ones introduced a new level of logistical complexity. Finding ways to go shopping with four kids under the age of four is nearly impossible. Public spaces are typically designed for parents with one baby and perhaps an older sibling. Stores and public spaces rarely accommodate twins. Thank you to Costco, Aldi's, and any other store where their standard shopping cart has space for two babies! I'm guessing they have a twin mom in their corporate leadership.

Before offering any recommendations or advice, I want to give you some context. In our household, each adult typically manages a set of twins. When I go to the store, I bring two children with me, and vice versa. We aim to divide and conquer whenever possible. If all four children are going somewhere, it's almost always with both parents present. On the rare occasions when that's not feasible, we try to enlist my parents' help who live nearby.

Be Prepared

Preparing for the outing not only involves gathering all the necessary items for the trip but also anticipating any unexpected needs. I always prepared more bottles than required, just in case the trip lasted longer than expected. The diaper bag was always packed with an abundance of diapers and extra clothes. I found it helpful to keep a reserve of supplies in my vehicle, which alleviated my anxiety about forgetting something or being caught without the necessary items. Since diaper bags are typically designed for single babies, having a vehicle back stock allows for restocking during the trip when the diaper bag isn't large enough. I am sharing the diaper bag we've used and continue to use with all our children. Although it can get a bit cramped at times, it has always accommodated everything we needed. At one point, it held six bottles, two formula travel containers, a pack of wipes, ten diapers, snacks, and a change of clothes for each child. Ours has endured a lot and still looks nearly new.

To confidently venture out in public with my group of children, I needed a stroller system that suited my requirements. I was looking for something lightweight and compact, easy to get the kids in and out of, and simple to maneuver in stores and tight spaces. When my babies were still in their infant car seats, I used the Baby Trend Snap-N-Go Double Stroller. This stroller was a lifesaver for daycare drop-offs, doctor visits, and diaper runs. It fit easily in the back of my van and was incredibly lightweight. The only downside is that it's not designed for rough terrain or grass. Eventually, I upgraded to the Zoe Twin Stroller. I splurged a bit on this stroller, but it has been worth every penny. It's extremely light and compact, allowing me to pull it out of the trunk and open it with one hand while holding a baby. It has been through a lot and has held up exceptionally well.

Grocery Store Navigation

Let's focus on the experience of going to the grocery store. We're lucky to live in a time with pick-up and delivery options, but there are still occasions when you need to go inside the store. When my twins were newborns, I often placed them in the Snap-N-Go stroller and stored my groceries underneath. This limited how much I could buy at once, which might have been beneficial. If my husband was with me, one of us would manage the stroller while the other handled the cart. As the twins started sitting up on their own, I switched to using carts. I always park next to the cart corral to make loading and unloading children and groceries easier. I've established specific cart rules and roles based on where each child sits, which keeps them focused and makes them feel involved. I constantly talk to them as we move through the store, often acting silly. They help to make decisions on what fruit and snacks to get. It is also not unusual to see me dancing down the aisle with a cart full of groceries and kids.

Managing Tantrums and Crises

Our entire family recently visited Fleet Farm to purchase plants and seeds for our vegetable garden. All of our children are now old enough to understand the gardening process and were thrilled to participate. However, the four-year-olds immediately ignored our instructions and started running around different sections of the garden center. Naturally, the two-year-olds saw their brothers' actions and felt compelled to join in. Despite several attempts to redirect them, they continued not to listen. I quickly realized I was losing control and was concerned about keeping my children safe in a public environment. At that moment, I decided to take all the kids back to the van and wait there until my husband finished shopping. While in the van, we had essential discussions about proper behavior in public and the importance of listening to stay safe. The kids remained in the vehicle until we returned home.

I share this example to show that meltdowns and tantrums happen to everyone. Even with the best intentions, preparation, and efforts to ensure a successful outing, tantrums will occur, and you will manage to get through them. I wish there was a foolproof method to handle public tantrums and meltdowns, but that's not the case. They will inevitably happen, and sometimes we just have to persevere. My main advice is to remain firm and calm. My kids were not happy about returning to the van during our gardening trip. However, I had set my expectations and needed to follow through. I also try to use distractions to divert their attention from what is upsetting them. Playing "I Spy," or singing "Wheels on the Bus" has helped prevent many public meltdowns.

Twins naturally attract attention, resulting in public stares and judgments. I focus on my children's needs rather than strangers' opinions, aware that these judgments don't define my parenting. This perspective helps me disregard whispers, recognizing that my children's behavior reflects their emotions and development.

When deciding whether to stay or leave a situation, I consider the twins' behavior, the urgency of the task, and my emotional state. If they're overwhelmed, leaving might be the best option; if they're coping well, we stay. My aim is to create positive experiences, teaching them to handle social situations. Each outing is a learning opportunity approached with patience and understanding.

Conclusion

Venturing out with twins, and then a second set, has been a journey of constant adaptation and learning. What once felt like an insurmountable challenge has gradually transformed into a series of manageable outings, each one building confidence. Yes, the stares and occasional unsolicited comments are part of the package deal, and navigating public spaces often feels like an obstacle course not designed for multiples. Yet, within these experiences, we've discovered the resilience of our family, the unexpected kindness of strangers, and the sheer joy of sharing the world with our children. It's a reminder that while the logistics of managing twins (or more!) in public can be demanding, the memories created and the lessons learned along the way are invaluable. So, to any parent of multiples feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of leaving the house, know that you are not alone, and with a little preparation, a dash of humor, and a whole lot of love, you too can navigate the world, one twin-filled outing at a time.