Double the Trouble, Double the Zzz's: How We Rocked Bedtime with Two Sets of Twins

Bringing up children is both joyful and chaotic. Now, imagine having not just one set of twins but two! Each set is twenty-two months apart. This means that at one point, we had four kids under two. Navigating the beautiful chaos of parenting two sets of twins brought challenges, especially around bedtime.

In this post, I'll share our journey to achieving bedtime harmony with our two sets of twins with some practical tips that may work for your family as well. You’ll see how we turned double the trouble into double the Zzz's.

Nevertheless, I want to clarify that just because these methods were effective for us, it doesn't mean they are the sole approach to achieving good sleep habits and bedtime peace. I am merely recounting what worked well in our home after numerous attempts. Baby and toddler sleep is a widely discussed subject among parents, with diverse opinions and viewpoints. Ultimately, you should follow what you believe is best for you and your children.

The Unique Challenge of Two Sets of Twins

As first-time parents of twins, we were quickly humbled by the challenges of sleep deprivation. With two babies, we found ourselves awake in the middle of the night, unable to take shifts or support each other. Both of us were exhausted, nearing our breaking point. Realizing the need for a change for the well-being of our babies and our marriage, we embarked on a journey to establish healthy sleep habits for our infants and toddlers.

We explored various sleep training methods and gained valuable insights along the way. Today, with two three-year-old boys and one-year-old boy/girl twins, our children consistently sleep through the night in their own beds and cribs. They eagerly anticipate bedtime routines, which makes me believe that either we were blessed with great sleepers or we managed to implement effective strategies for infant and toddler sleep.

In the following sections, I will outline the practices we have consistently followed or implemented in the past concerning bedtime and promoting healthy sleep habits for infants and toddlers.

Setting a Bedtime Routine

One of the first steps in our journey was establishing a consistent bedtime routine. I found my children, and myself thrive on routine; it gives all of us security and predictability. Here’s what we implemented:

1. Same Time Every Night: We set a fixed bedtime for all kids, allowing earlier bedtimes for younger twins. This consistency helped everyone adjust to a unified sleep schedule.

   
   

2. Wind-Down Activities: We created calming pre-bedtime rituals like warm baths, storytime, and snuggles with mom and dad. Bedtime has now become the highlight of my day with my three-year-olds. It is a time when we discuss the day's joys and challenges and what they are looking forward to the next day. These activities signaled that bedtime was approaching and made our twins feel safe and relaxed.

   
   

3. Unified Approach: Collaborating as parents was crucial. Both of us were on the same page regarding the bedtime routine, establishing consistency that let the kids know what to expect. This keeps the toddler answer shopping to a minimum as they know Mom and Dad are on the same team.

   
   

By making bedtime structured, our twins embraced the routine, contributing to their overall calmness at night.

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Managing two sets of twins is no small task, especially during bedtime. Success depended on teamwork—between us as parents and among the twins themselves.

1. Co-Parenting Responsibilities: We divided bedtime tasks based on our strengths. One parent read stories while the other was in charge of brushing teeth. This approach reduced chaos and facilitated smoother transitions.

   
   

2. Fostering Sibling Bonds: Encouraging the twins to bond during bedtime became important. We made reading stories a shared activity. Both sets have also always had their beds/cribs right next to each other. They now look forward to having quiet time together and feed comfort knowing their twin is near.

   
   

3. Promoting Independence: As they grew, we taught our twins how to settle themselves. From a few months old, we would create a structure so that they could practice putting themselves to sleep. This independence built their confidence and fostered autonomy.

   
   

Recognizing that we were all in this journey together turned bedtime into a shared experience, often leading to quieter evenings.

Sleep Training: To cry or not let them cry? That is the question?

For some families, sleep training can be daunting. We approached it in a variety of ways, based upon our understanding as parents and getting to know each individual baby.

1. Use a Variety of Methods: We have used cry it out and gentle sleep training methods. As we grow as parents and understand each individual child, we develop more strategies and adjust to their needs. When our babies were infants, we began to focus on wake and feeding windows during the day to encourage consolidated sleep at night. We would also try to put the babies in their crib or bassinet slightly awake so they would get used to putting themselves to sleep on their own.

   
   

2. Importance of Patience: We discovered the value of patience and adaptability. While some nights were easier than others, we acknowledged small wins and showed ourselves compassion during challenging times. It often seemed like a process of trial and error, without a quick fix. Reflecting on the money invested in search of the ideal sleep sacks for our babies, hoping they would resolve all our sleep issues, we realized that understanding and accommodating our babies' individual needs and personalities is what truly matters.

   
   

Discovering a sleep training approach that worked well for our family was key in establishing a consistent bedtime routine and minimizing nighttime disruptions. Have a conversation with your partner to determine what methods suit both of you best and capitalize on each parent's strengths. Given the likelihood of both partners being sleep-deprived with twins, it is important to outline plans and responsibilities in advance to reduce potential frustrations during the night.

Managing Night Wakings

As soon as we felt we had bedtime routines down, we discovered managing night wakings was a new challenge. These unexpected wakings could lead to chaos with two sets of twins.

1. Stay Calm and Reassuring: Night wakings often caused distress. Staying calm, speaking softly, and keeping the lights low helped ease their anxiety. It actually helps your anxiety as well

   
   

2. Establishing a Routine: Our twins established a regular waking time for feeding, which prompted both my husband and me to get up to feed them. One of us would feed one baby while the other fed the second one. If one baby woke up, we would wake the other one for feeding as well. This routine may not necessarily work for everyone, but it was the most effective for us.

   
   

3. Limit Nighttime Communication: Since neither of us enjoyed being up in the middle of the night, we needed a dependable schedule that allowed us to support each other with minimal communication. By 2 a.m., any grumpiness would start to set in, making it a time unsuitable for casual conversation. Thanks to our schedule, we were able to efficiently feed the babies and quickly return to sleep. As the infants developed, and as we paid more attention to their wake windows and daytime calorie intake, they became better at sleeping through the night, leading to a reduction in nighttime feedings.

   
   

Being proactive and understanding the reasons behind night wakings helped us minimize disruptions, maintaining a sense of normalcy even at night.

Naptime Influences Sleep Quality

Believe it or not, naptimes play a crucial role in nighttime sleep quality. Keeping track of naptimes ensures they aren’t missed or overlapped is vital.

1. Regular Nap Schedules: We recognized the importance of regular naptimes, maintaining the same schedule as much as possible. Ideally, both sets of twins would nap at overlapping times, allowing us some much-needed breathing room.

   
   

2. Avoid Late Naps: We saw that late-day naps could interfere with nighttime sleep. Adjusting naptimes earlier improved bedtime transitions significantly.

   
   

3. Wake the Sleeping Baby(ies): When my twins were under one year old, I made sure not to let them sleep for more than two hours at a stretch, except during the newborn phase. Allowing them to nap longer would disrupt their wake windows and delay feedings, resulting in them consuming fewer calories throughout the day. Anyone who has twins knows that the advice "Don't wake a sleeping baby" doesn't apply.

   
   

By understanding how naptime influences nighttime behavior, our twins were more prepared for bedtime.

Finding Your Rhythm for Sweet Dreams

Through countless trial-and-error sessions, late nights, and a dose of patience, we crafted a bedtime routine that transformed chaos into calm. Establishing good sleeping habits with two sets of twins needed dedication, consistency, and creativity.

As any parent with twins knows, every day is a new adventure. But knowing we can count on a smooth transition into sleep makes the challenges worthwhile. Our journey to achieving healthy sleep habits proves that with love, support, and solid routines, bedtime can be an enjoyable chapter in the busy lives of families with multiples.

So, find your rhythm, get cozy, and here's to sweet dreams as you navigate bedtime with your little ones!

Empowering Moms: Navigating Postpartum Recovery with Confidence and Advocacy

Discovering I was pregnant with twins twice was surprising. However, nothing was as surprising as leaving the hospital with two newborns while recovering from a c-section and dealing with the rollercoaster of hormones after giving birth to twins. I had one, if not two, appointments or tests every week leading up to my delivery. If needed, I could contact my OB-GYN and they could usually fit me in the same day. Following the delivery, I was discharged with two newborns and a follow-up appointment in six weeks. It felt like I just broke up with a long term boyfriend. The moment the babies were born, my well-being was no longer a priority. My medical support system had vanished when I needed it the most. I soon realized that postpartum care in women's health is like the uncharted territory of the Wild West.

Having gone through undiagnosed postpartum depression and anxiety with my first set of twins, I made a promise to myself to never reach that stage again. I vividly recall a late-night feeding session with our second set when I sensed that something was wrong. The following morning, I contacted my doctor to seek the necessary support and treatment. This turned out to be one of the most beneficial choices I made during the initial year of those babies' lives. It enabled me to be present in a manner that I couldn't manage with my first set of twins.

Recently, I discovered that the effects of postpartum extend well beyond the initial year following the birth of our children. Pregnancy and childbirth have a lasting impact on our bodies and overall health. During a conversation with my friend, who is a mother of triplets, I mentioned the ongoing discomfort and pain I experience at my c-section scar. I had assumed this was a typical part of having a c-section. Additionally, I discussed how my abdominal muscles had separated, leading to significant diastasis recti. Once again, I believed this was just a natural consequence of motherhood. To my surprise, she explained that c-section scar pain is not normal and that there are ways to address diastasis recti. She recounted her positive experience with physical therapy post-triplet pregnancy and emphasized the profound impact it had on her well-being.

During my first yearly check-up, I inquired with my OB-GYN about my symptoms and the potential benefits of physical therapy. Her response was affirmative, indicating that physical therapy could indeed be a beneficial solution. While I appreciated the opportunity to discuss the next steps with her, this conversation took place more than a year after my second c-section, and it was initiated by me. This made me reflect on other mothers who may not have the same knowledge or awareness about postpartum physical therapy, as I only knew about it through a friend's experience. If I hadn't been informed about this option, there are likely other mothers who are also unaware of its availability.

Following a recommendation from my friend, I arranged an initial meeting with a physical therapist. During this session, I discovered a three-finger-width gap between my abdominal muscles, with discomfort around my c-section scar attributed to extensive scar tissue. The therapy sessions have been centered on specific abdominal exercises to address my diastasis recti and focused massages on the c-section scar. Since my first appointment, I have been attending weekly sessions and have witnessed remarkable improvements. Working closely with two therapists specializing in postpartum recovery and connective tissue, I have found a sense of relief and validation in understanding that pain is not normal and that I can regain strength and live pain-free once more.

During one of my appointments, I mentioned in passing that I have been experiencing more frequent neck pain and migraines than usual. Although I have always dealt with these issues, they have intensified since I became pregnant. My therapists are now focused on identifying the source of the pain, and they suspect that the increased discomfort is likely a result of lifting heavy weights (my children) without sufficient core strength. While I am naturally prone to migraines and neck pain, my body has been attempting to compensate for the lack of core strength.

I am quickly realizing the interconnectedness of the body. The trauma my body went through during two consecutive twin pregnancies and subsequent c-sections within twenty-two months continues to affect my daily life nearly two years post-delivery. If it weren't for my friend, I would be experiencing much more pain and discomfort than I currently am. Society often conveys to mothers that enduring such challenges is just a natural part of motherhood. It's common to hear that our bodies will "never be the same." While this may be true, it doesn't imply that our bodies cannot be resilient. It doesn't mean we should accept living in pain or discomfort.

As mothers advocating for our health and wellbeing, we can bring postpartum care and support to the fore front. We can demand the support, resources and education we desperately want and need. Talk to other moms about what you are experiencing and check in on new moms in your life. We need to be there advocating for each other because our healthcare system is not there yet.

If your social circle is limited, let me be the friend who assures you that you do not need to face pain alone. You do not have to go through postpartum depression and anxiety in isolation. If something seems wrong, don't hesitate to reach out to someone - a friend, a healthcare provider, your partner, or anyone else. Avoid isolating yourself as I did during the postpartum phase. Open up about your emotions to others. Recognize the challenges as they are genuine. You do not have to pretend to have everything perfectly managed because none of us do. Most importantly, you do not have to endure living in pain.

Twin Tested & Twin Approved: Top Toddler Toys That Won't Break the Bank

Raising twin toddlers is a unique journey that brings a mix of joy and financial responsibilities. From the moment twins are born, parents are faced with the challenge of managing the costs associated with raising two children simultaneously. This challenge becomes particularly evident when it comes to purchasing essential items such as car seats and cribs, which are necessary for the safety and well-being of the twins. The financial aspect of raising twins can indeed be overwhelming, emphasizing the importance of careful budgeting and financial planning for parents.

When it comes to toys for twins, parents often find themselves navigating a delicate balance between cost and quality. While it's essential to invest in toys that are budget-friendly, it's equally important to choose toys that promote the twins' development and engagement. Parents may prioritize essential gear over toys, ensuring that the twins have everything they need for their daily care and well-being.

However, finding practical and versatile toys that not only entertain but also engage twins can be challenging. These selected toys play a significant role in the twins' lives, offering them entertainment and opportunities for learning. The right toys can stimulate the twins' creativity, cognitive skills, and physical development, providing them with a well-rounded play experience. By choosing toys that are both fun and educational, parents can ensure that their twins receive the maximum benefits from their playtime. My top toddler toys are excellent choices for gift-giving, as they not only bring joy but also contribute to their overall development and well-being but won't break the bank.

Polk-a-Dot Books

The Polk-a-Dot books have been a staple in our twin-raising journey, making perfect Easter Bunny and Santa gifts. These interactive books offer a quiet, self-directed activity that our kids have returned to countless times. They love exploring the vibrant illustrations and engaging with the tactile dots. As a teacher, I appreciate how these books promote kinesthetic learning and encourage independent play while reinforcing essential book skills. While they might be a bit on the heavy side, their entertainment value and portability make them well worth the weight, especially for long car rides or flights.

Piggie Bank Toy

While searching for unique Christmas gifts for our one-year-old twins, I stumbled upon this piggie bank toy. With so many toys from our first set, we only wanted to introduce a few new favorites. This bank has quickly become a favorite addition to our collection. Our one-year-olds are captivated by it, playing independently for extended periods. Even our three-year-olds enjoy interacting with the babies and the toy, fostering fine motor skill development. While it does produce sound, it's not overly loud or annoying, unlike many other children's toys.

Montessori Farm Toy

Our oldest twins received this wooden toy as a Christmas gift. All of our children have loved setting up the little garden with the worms on the lid. Our three year olds currently enjoy the challenge of sorting the animals through the appropriate slots. I adore this toy for its versatility, catering to a wide range of ages and developmental levels. Its all-wood construction ensures durability, and it has weathered a few tumbles without showing signs of wear.

Dimpl Pop It

When I need to keep my children's hands busy or entertained, this toy is my go-to favorite. It works wonders when our one-year-olds are getting restless on the changing table and need something to focus on. It also comes in handy during lengthy car rides, as well as at places like restaurants or church. While it may seem like a basic toy, it manages to captivate their attention for a significant amount of time. Although this toy is designed for kids under two, even our three-year-olds enjoy playing with it occasionally.

Beach Ball

Yes, you heard correctly. I highly recommend having a beach ball indoors. I have a one-year-old who loves all kinds of balls, but the beach ball is his favorite. When he was crawling, he would play with it like a cat, batting it around the house. As he started walking, he would carry it around and throw it. Due to its light weight and slow movement in the air, it's great for kids to practice throwing and kicking. Even our three-year-olds learned how to spike with the beach ball. It has been the most convenient and safest way for our very active children to enjoy playing with a ball indoors during the colder months.

Little People Animal Farm Playset

This toy was given to my oldest twins by their great-grandfather for Christmas before they turned one. Now at the age of three, they still enjoy playing with it. The younger twins also love this toy just as much. It was one of the first toys my children used to engage in pretend play, and now they are building intricate farm setups with it. It is uncommon for us to go a day without this toy being pulled out of the cupboard to be played with. I highly recommend this toy as a gift for any child aged one or older.

Capes

This gift has been incredibly popular in our home as well. Hardly a day goes by without the capes and masks being used for play. Each of my four children loves putting on the capes and masks, running around the house, and shouting, "let's save the day!" They pretend to shoot webs to capture villains or search for "damsels and dudes in distress." It's a simple and affordable way to promote imaginative play. These items require minimal storage space and are convenient to keep.

Doctor Kit

My kids enjoy playing with a doctor kit as another dress-up toy. They enjoy checking my ears and temperature regularly to ensure my well-being. Young kids often have memorable experiences when visiting the doctor, and with four children under four, they have frequent doctor visits. Therefore, it is understandable that they want to imitate doctors. In addition to the fun gadgets, playing with the doctor kit enables kids to practice showing empathy and assisting others through pretend play.

Cookie Kit

About a year and a half ago, the Easter Bunny delivered this toy to our home, and it has been cherished ever since. You might have observed that most of the toys I endorse are from Melissa and Doug. I have discovered that this toy brand is the most resilient and keeps our children engaged for extended periods. These toys have also proven to be age-appropriate over time. Following a thorough inspection by our little doctors, our aspiring chefs typically treat me to a couple of cookies.

Stacking Cups

Since they were ten months old, these cups have kept all of my children entertained. Initially, they would stack them inside one another, but now they enjoy building towers with them. While constructing the towers, we discuss colors, patterns, and order. We also incorporate them into at-home occupational therapy sessions for my three-year-old son who injured his hand recently. Using the cups is an effective method to develop and strengthen fine and gross motor skills starting at a young age.

Wash and Dry Dish Set

This wash and dry dish set, like many other toys mentioned, is regularly used by the three-year-olds and one-year-olds. It is a key element in their imaginative play, whether they are pretending to wash dishes, serve meals, or set their own table. The color coordination has also helped our children learn colors, as they enjoy matching the dishes with their respective color groups. All pieces of this set are sturdy and durable, having endured the test of time and four kids under the age of four.

Writing Tablet

These LCD writing tablets have proven to be a valuable tool for moments requiring quiet play. We bring them along on car rides, to restaurants, and to church. Our children all enjoy drawing and doodling on them. They offer a mix of an etch-a-sketch and rainbow scratch paper. Despite being battery-operated, ours have lasted for several years without needing a battery replacement.